Yesterday evening I honored myself with some solo yoga. Music. Movement & Me. There are times when I teach to a roomful of people and I feel like I’m not able to provide them with what they need. These feelings are unproductive and unsubstantiated -it is the ego and I am in constant battle trying to curb these feelings of self doubt and inadequacy. However, when I take some alone time and I become my own student, I realize that all is well. I do the best that I know how. This journey isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up and moving your body and quieting your mind. Let go of the negative self talk. We are all guilty of feeling not good enough. The key is acknowledging these thoughts and shooing them out…and still showing up and practicing. And when these judgements reappear, I ask myself this question: Why do I practice yoga? My answer is always the same: It’s fun, it’s challenging, it’s transformative and most of all I love how I feel. Resetting my perspective. Over and over and over again. This practice is helpful in day to day life too. We are better than we give ourselves credit for. #soloyoga #me #yoga #justbe #mayitbeofbenefit
Category: Uncategorized
Rise Up
Rise Up!
Hi everyone! I am back from my annual trip to my native state of Colorado. I honestly can’t say that I am happy to be back in Arkansas, but I am feeling grateful and content. Why you ask? In yoga we talk about that place of connection, where we find stillness within our breath and we can obtain a sense of peace and calmness. It is a wonderful moment to be in and it isn’t an easy place to find. But be patient, it will come…and it will go… and it will come back again. Oh how the pendulum swings! For me, I find it most often when I am in my birthplace. Go figure, right?! Well, the goal isn’t to go to a physical place to to find it, the goal is to be able to find this sense of serenity anywhere; but to know what it feels like? Oh, what a blissful feeling it is.
While in Colorado, I practiced at several studios and I LOVED everything about them. What I can never get enough of is learning and practicing and most of all sharing. What I learn and practice, I bring back to share it with you beautiful humans. So stick with me, we are in this together.
Rest assured, I will never stop learning and teaching from a place of integrity and love. That you can be certain. So this place of serenity and calmness, we usually journey there in Savasana (the most important part of practice.)
If there is one takeaway from me it is this:
Make time for Savasana …
As I write this, a song comes on and you will not believe what the name of it is… RISE UP…. I’m serious!!
“I will rise up, in spite of the ache. I will rise up 1000 times again.”
Talk about the universe working in mysterious ways and synchronicity.
You know that saying – SILENT and LISTEN – spelled with the same letters. There are no coincidences. The universe speaks to us when we get silent and listen. Try it. See what happens.
The space between
From my book of Everyday Wisdom. I read this today and felt the need to share it.
I value and respect so many individuals in my life and I am very well aware that we do not always share the same opinions, values and lifestyles; however, I know that we each carry an intrinsic goodness. It’s simply taking time to recognize it. Take pause. Notice and redirect the automatic urge toward feeling frustrated, angry and indifferent toward the person I am in “conflict” or “disconnected” with. Instead witnessing my judgement and redirecting it toward compassion, patience and self awareness that their story isn’t my story. Their path isn’t my path but we can still find a way to live harmoniously together on this planet and appreciating our uniqueness and individuality.
We have a choice. Witness your actions, your response and your reaction to what is happening around you. I find a deeper sense of calmness and become fulfilled with what really matters when I cultivate self awareness and mindfulness. It happens in the space between my inhale and exhale. That is where compassion, love, connection and grace live. Accept the challenge to #breatheslower and #lovedeeper #cultivatecompassion #yoga #selfawareness #grace
Seize the Mantra. Seize the Moment.
When it comes down to it, this is what it comes down to: Seize the Mantra and Seize the Moment. My mantra for now is HAVE FAITH. My moment is NOW.
By FAITH I mean “complete trust or confidence in the universe.” And by NOW, I mean now is the perfect timing. Repeating my mantra of HAVE FAITH daily for a small moment manifests hope that I can let go of the worry and fear. As I know very well, worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. Yet I do it all the time…
Seizing moments of solitude are no easy feat either, especially adding in full time job/ wife & mother of three, but regardless of where you are in life, it is hard to find time to be alone, sit still and be in silence. Nonetheless, I highly encourage seizing the mantra and the moment. (Yes, I am speaking to you!)
Give yourself permission the loving kindness you deserve. I believe we all need it and we are not getting enough of it. This valuable time to notice to what is stirring beneath the surface in our soul and to listen for our inner voice. This voice is a culmination of so many entities within ourselves from the murmuring of our heart to the butterflies in our stomach. I like to think of these sensations as intuition or inner voice. Unfortunately, the inner voice can be exacerbated by the fluctuations of the mind and our dear friend Ego. Even more so, when we are feeling emotional or find ourselves in unforeseen places in our lives, our thoughts can cause us to feel clouded and confused; making it difficult to identify what is the voice of our intuition and what is the voice of our dear friend Ego. Consider this: think of the Ego and Intuition as the Shoulder Angels, the Good Angel and the Bad Angel.
When we give ourselves up and release to this sacred space, there is potential to find answers to our unspoken fears and worries or at the very least to help lessen the anxiety. Too often this mind chatter and worry are futile and unrealistic but at the same time so very hard to let go.
Here is a fun practice if you need a little guidance.
Get in a comfortable seated pose with hands in anjali mudra (prayer pose) near your heart or maybe place your hands on your knees with palms to the sky (to be open to receive from the universe). Another option, is savasana with one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Now, close your eyes, soften your brow and your jaw, become conscious with your breath. Taking a deep rich breath inward, then connecting the bottom of your inhale with the beginning of your exhale. Repeat. Notice the symphonic rhythm. Notice your chest and belly rise and fall with every breath in this quiet dance with yourself. Take comfort in being alone, sitting in stillness and silencing your mind. Begin to repeat your mantra. Again. And again.
This is exactly where you need to be.
This moment: Connecting breath to body and repeating your mantra. HAVE FAITH.
To start, try allotting 5-10 minutes daily. Then, begin bump up your meditation practice adding minute to minute increments. Keep in mind, the longer you commit to holding this space, the calmer and more at peace you become, and in turn allowing for a deeper connection with humanity. This cherished practice of quieting the mind with breath and body is essential to creating and building a deeper life of gratitude and peace.
At the end of the day, this is what I wish to have more than anything else; less worry, less doubt, more fun and more freedom to be my best self and I sincerely wish the same for each and every one of you too. Most of all, Have Faith.
May this be your mantra for the moment: Seize the Moment, Seize the Mantra and Have Faith…
Melissa
What the World needs now.
This is about how I feel right now. The world needs a group hug. Words escape me and I feel hollow inside. I know, this to shall pass…I suppose (sigh). I am confounded and saddened by all of the judgement and anger amongst each other on social media and in the world. I guess because I know how difficult it is to change deeply ingrained viewpoints and fundamental values. We each have a unique path and private story that has made us who we are today, and a lot of these memories, experiences and moments become a part of us at such a young and impressionable age we often don’t remember why.
It just is.
Whatever these beliefs are we continue to share them with our children, our children’s children and so it goes. The values, judgements, bias, love, all of it.
Why do these tragedies happen? Well the answers are all over the internet. Pick the one that one fits nicely with your life and beliefs. I assure you it is there. I have read so many facts, opinions, statistics and I certainly haven’t found the right answer for me. It’s so much larger than I have the ability to wrap my brain and heart around.
Here is what I do believe wholeheartedly:
If we encouraged each other more than discouraged each other.
If we love each other more than fear one another.
If we stop, listen, gain some perspective with the opposing side and be ok to respectfully disagree.
To acknowledge our differences and understand I’m not here to change you, vice versa…but be respectful.
I think when we begin toacknowledge our differences and compromise rather than create a larger divide and separation, that is when positive change happens.
Yes, the world has a lot of evil and hate.m, but with Pandora’s box open, perhaps we do this instead:
Look in each other’s eyes and really see the other person – their strength, beauty, passion, faults, insecurities and the life that we don’t know. We have m
All of it. Unconditional, boundless love.
Say “I see you. I see hurt, I see love, I see connection and mostly I see a need to be accepted.” Our ego plays a huge role in our lives. Here is a comforting thought: We all have this ego voice in our head. We are human. Think of it as batteries included, but here is the bigger voice… We are humanity, therefore, we will prevail, stronger, more mindful and with more compassion. We have a choice. Let’s choose to love and being ok with not having all the answers.
My answers might not be your answers. Maybe it’s as simple as reaching out to acknowledge another human for the sake of humanity.
Hug and look at the other person and say “I SEE YOU.”
Wow… It is truly profound. Human connection. Humanity. Try it and see.
Peace, love, respect,
Melissa
A Year Ago Today
Astavakrasana, also known as Eight Angled Pose. The top photo was taken today; the bottom exactly a year ago today. This photo represents a growth on visual and physical level because I can see the improvements superficially and externally from one to the other. However, way above and beyond feeling stronger physically, I am mentally and spiritually stronger.🙏🏼
This life, I can choose to live in love and gratitude or I can choose to live in fear and judgement. Whichever path I choose will breed more of the same. I’m not saying I live a perfect life of love and gratitude all the time. No way, no how. Far from it!! There will be times that fear and judgement show up, but now when that happens, I acknowledge them and just as graciously escort them out. Being mindful of the path I choose takes practice. Everyday saying no to fear means saying yes to love.
Growth is inevitable, and it is uncomfortable and uncertain.
No question about it. Believe me, I’m the first to admit it. Ask anyone who knows me.
So, (pause) when we boldly move beyond these resistant and difficult moments, we are making a choice to live.
It’s that simple.
We are all stronger than we think. – Physically, Spiritually and yes Mentally. The transformation of ourselves is happening every minute of every hour of every day, week…month…and year. Most of the time we don’t pay attention to this transformation, we just keep doing, we just keep being, often unaware.
We just do. (Here’s secret: it’s ok).
But here’s the thing, I’ll let you in on another secret: Yoga. It redefines our purpose in life. No shit.
Yoga is not only refining your body physically, although when you start seeing this, it feels so deeply amazing. Yoga also offers us an invitation to a reintroduction of ourselves: to our true selves. Guess what else: She is graciously awaiting your acceptance.
Most of us find our way through asanas or yoga poses because we SEE the physical transformation. We FEEL empowered and stronger when we repeatedly step on our mat, flowing through each pose. Eventually though, this repetitive practice will open ourselves up to a curiosity, an intuitive calling.
Just wait for it. It might not be this second, hour, day, month or year, but keep moving on your mat… No matter what.
Never stop. No matter how difficult or inadequate or resistant life becomes. And one more thing: be patient with yourself and most importantly be willing to listen. Trust me.
Take life one breath at a time-Melissa
Boom Boom Boom
What can I say when nothing needs to be said.
I feel it in my heart
I hear it in my head.
Boom Boom Boom.
I am not sure how else to explain my sudden calling, that woke me up in the middle of the night to Boom Boom Boom.
I woke up to this part of a song that I have not heard in a very long time. I really can’t recall the last time that I heard it, but I remember that I loved it. This early morning awakening were the parts of a song I could not fully identify:
“I could not believe the information
My heart going boom boom boom
Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.”
My heart going boom boom boom
Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.”
So at 3 in the morning, normally feeling groggy and incoherent, I sat up, wide eyed, my heart was going boom boom boom. I remember thinking, I have got to find the name of this song! It was nagging at me like the nostalgic smell you remember from your childhood that you can’t recall.
Boom boom boom just kept repeating it in my mind. Let me just say, I knew that it represented something more than just another song, but I didn’t know how or why it was different. Now most people that know me know that I am a music/lyric lover. With that said, there really isn’t a song in my repertoire that does not carry some emotional significance. However, I have never had a song wake me up so suddenly to a boom boom boom in my head and heart. So I had to delve a little deeper.
What am I eluding to you might be wondering?
First listen to the song as you read the lyrics
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
Had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
[I] just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom boom boom
“Son, ” he said “Grab your things,
I’ve come to take you home.”
To keepin’ silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho’ my life was in a rut
“Till I thought of what I’d say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
“Hey” he said “Grab your things
I’ve come to take you home.”
When illusion spin her net
I’m never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don’t need a replacement
I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom boom boom
“Hey” I said “You can keep my things,
they’ve come to take me home.”
This song came out in 1977. I couldn’t believe it is that old! Well, maybe not old, but it is a classic! So after hearing it for the first time in years, it was as if I was being reunited with a long lost friend or memory, I was lost for words. It spoke to me like no other song and the timing is spot on! This song has been an awakening and what better time to have one than at 3 am in the morning? Peter Gabriel, the artist who created this moving ballad almost 40 years ago says the meaning of this song is “It’s about being prepared to lose what you have for what you might get… It’s about letting go.” BOOM.
At the end of the day, I know what I want to do, but I am never one to do anything quickly. It is very frustrating, because I want things done quickly, but it is not how I am wired.
For example:
I did not want to come out of my mom’s womb (three weeks late to be exact) and I pouted for the next 5-10 years. My brothers might think I have never recovered.
I was a late walker.
I was held back in elementary school.
I can be socially awkward.
I can be apprehensive in establishing long term relationships.
I am painfully slow to get into water. Side note – NEVER PUSH ME IN!
Anyway, you get the point…
And I might want to clarify that I am not saying that I am ready, but I am tip-toeing… to the ready, just ever so slowly. I am trusting in the timing and universe. I am a believer that the universe gives you what you need. However… I am just now open to receiving it.
I see it. I feel it. I hear it.
Boom boom boom.
Who said 40 was old when I am just now starting to figure it out?
Little by little. Boom boom boom. Listen, Breathe, Repeat,
Again and always
Melissa
The Time is Now Baby Grasshopper
I understand this is just the beginning. My restart button has been pushed and I am upgraded with a more balanced and healthier perspective of the world, and how I react to it. I read a great quote out of Rebecca Pacheco’s book “Do Your Om Thing”, “yoga is about encompassing and unifying all the layers of our being, our job as yogi’s is to master our emotions so that they don’t master us, on and off the mat.”
What now baby grasshopper? Jump, but keep learning and be open and receptive to every opportunity that presents itself and wait for it….
HAVE FUN…
So with that said, I am being proactive. Hello 3rd Chakra!
I asked to be put on the sub list at a local gym. YIKES…if not now then when?
Also, I will start teaching two classes a week – one restorative and one advanced- stay tuned for that…
In addition to my branching out, I will continue to offer classes at my home because it is a very special place to me. My living room is where I took the bold move to practice teach to all my wonderful and compassionate friends (Thanks guys! You know who you are!). It is where I continue to gain experience and build confidence in my ability to share this wonderful practice. I want to be certain that I am offering my most authentic self and teach with integrity and mindfulness. I know I will falter and I will freeze and forget, which is a realistic approach at this point in my yoga teaching. I am fine with not being perfect and I am even more fine with being imperfect. I want to establish myself as a teacher with grace and vulnerability. To LAUGH, to CRY and be SILENT when the moment happens, it will be the right thing to do.. I will listen to my heart and feel my breath and enjoy these wonderful opportunities.
When I look in the eye of my students and fellow yogis, I am saying I SEE YOU, without a word. I am so passionate about this thing called YOGA and EVERYTHING it has to offer. My need to share is essential, but more importantly I want these like minded soul searchers to understand that I have A LOT to learn. There is a tremendous amount of information about this ancient philosophy on and off the mat that I am just skimming the surface. That is delightful. I am a sponge soaking it all in.
It helps to be in a yoga community that is amazingly supportive and helpful. I feel extremely honored to be connected to such a wonderful tribe of radiant individuals. It is really life changing. My life (being more mindful), my relationships (who I want and do not want in my life) and my values (trusting in myself, listening to my intuition and following the path of the yoga sutras with more diligence and awareness.) Each and every aspect of my life has changed – for the better. I mean this yogic outlook really very pure and organic. Quite liberating and refreshing to be honest. Being more aware of my thoughts and emotions. I am and will continue learning to eliminate the mind stuff, the worries of past and future, of unrealistic expectations and attachments, silly assumptions and the special sauce we create.
Living with these core concepts of the seven chakras will essentially keep my body in check and balanced… and it flows into my life.
I WILL:
- Stay grounded (Root Chakra) I belong here. I AM.
- Get creative and feel the intuitive energy (Sacral Chakra) I FEEL.
- Be ambitious and bold. Have gumption and be proactive. (Solar Plexus) I DO.
- Follow my heart. Listen to it. Ignore fear. (Heart Chakra) I LOVE.
- Communicate and use self expression. Be clear, true and authentic. (Throat Chakra) I SPEAK.
- Visualize. Focus. Feed my Intuitive wisdom. (Third Eye Chakra) I SEE.
- (Crown Chakra) I UNDERSTAND.
I know this is not easy. I am 40 and I am just now learning these new tricks. I wish I had learned these amazing threads of knowledge sooner, but it comes to you when you are ready. I am ready. Maybe these new tricks (old but new to me) will help me with my depression, my self esteem, my self worth…but it is and always will be work in progress. There is no ending. This isn’t something that I can mark off my to do list, better yet realizing it will always be on my to do list. This new way of living will take focus, discipline and flexibility and I am not talking about the physically, (although there is that too…) I am talking about mentally! One thing that never changes is change, but I will always have my yoga toolbox to guide and help me: Breath, trust and love. All of these are important instruments for my mind, body and spirit. It is all interconnected, and we are all interconnected…woowoo, it is true. 🙂 It is really beautiful to listen to when they are all balanced and in tune with each other.
I can honestly say I breathe with a deeper sense of purpose and value which breathes life and gratitude into everything I do in my day to day actions. How I clean my house. How I communicate with humans and life. What I put in my body. How I treat myself and how I treat everything/one around me. Yoga is the connection and I’m ready to dance.
Yoga:
Your body is poetry – Your breath is music – Create magic.
Melissa
What now? I Don’t Know…
This is what I keep asking myself…
What now?
The YTT is coming to an end and I am very emotional about it. Extremely emotional (which is me most days anyway..).
I know that I am placing unnecessary stress and unrealistic expectations on this What Now diagnosis. Yes, it has a name. I have diagnosed myself with the What Nows. What is my plan of action? What do I do with my knowledge and newfound awareness? I often hear people talk about the little voice in their head. You know that “life changing and impactful” inner voice? Sometimes I wonder where did my little voice go?
I do know this voice “I am not ready.” And that is the ego voice. Am I that oblivious and stubborn to not listen to my soft inner voice? To embrace it?
Or… am I just not ready. I don’t know. I know that is ok, however, I want so badly to know the answer to the What Now…Truth is I do hear this inner voice whispering to me, but the EGO voice is still louder.
In the meantime, in my What Now state of paralysis – I will continue the path of practicing yoga on and off the mat, and maybe I will put teaching yoga on a shelf for awhile and not give it so much meaning. I don’t know.
I LOVE to create and the downside to that is I CREATE a lot of unnecessary worries and mind stuff. It is as though I am pushing away what I want most. I make it very hard to follow a passion when I only invite what I did wrong into the conversation and not including what I did right. There is also this block – The idea making a living doing and practicing something I am passionate about and sharing my knowledge to others seems unattainable. In class I was given some feedback (see picture above) on my energy and that is -the white represents uncertainty, not truly living from authenticity. She mentioned I am not giving and receiving, to which I vehemently deny. I do give. I receive. But this is what I missed. She meant I give A LOT, but I am not giving what I want to give… I receive too, but I am not allowing myself to receive what I want. Conflicted.
On my YTT journey, I have learned two words that I LOVE! They are etched in my brain and one day I will etch them into my skin. (Sorry mom!)
One is SANTOSHA (pronounced Santosa). Doesn’t have a nice ring to it? I like to whisper it. Santosha-Santosha-Santosha. It means gratitude, contentment/ being at peace with yourself and now. Wikipedia says it best “Santosha is the habit of being able to accept circumstances one finds self in, without being upset, of accepting oneself, and of equanimity with others who are balancing their own needs as they share what they have. Santosha is also abstaining from taking and consuming something to excess, even if its appearance makes it tempting.” I have heard it be called EGO’s opposite. I like that.
I also like the word VIVEKA. There is no other way to say it without it sounding razor sharp. Try it! VIVEKA! VIVEKA! VIVEKA! It means wisdom, knowledge and the intellectual ability to discriminate, or discern, between the real and the unreal, true and false, good and evil. Viveka is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions (no pun intended) or to judge well.
Another reason I like these words is because when I practice Santosha and Viveka they will free me of my What Now diagnosis. When? I don’t know. And that is ok.
So What Now? Santosha, Santosha, Viveka Viveka…to be continued.
See you on the flip side.
In the meantime enjoy this wonderful song. I feel it translates to what I’m saying beautifully. https://open.spotify.com/track/70K0ezmzYEZeqoSaZMyP7o
Peace –
M
The Force is Within You
Yoga teacher training and abundant reading on yogic philosophy is really life changing and exhausting. Mentally and physically. Some say this isn’t for everyone, but in my experience it certainly wouldn’t hurt to give it a go. 😉
Through this experience, I am becoming better acquainted with my vulnerabilities and reintroducing me to my more authentic self. Often times (a lot of times!!), I get caught up in self-doubt and ego. This sets me back and it’s easy to fall into this trap. Habits are hard to break. Especially when the ego is involved. And it usually is.
However, since I have started this training I am better able to identify this pattern. I am also aware that I have the power within me to stop the negative judgement I place on myself (we all have this power). This is not an easy process. Growth generally isn’t. It can be painful and messy. But eventually, I am beginning to live from a place of gratitude and empathy. Living from this space is how I find a deeper connection to all life, myself included.
Let me rephrase that: When I live from a place of gratitude and empathy, I will find a deeper connection to myself and therefore to everything and everyone around me.
We are all on this journey.
Recognizing this connection in others is immensely powerful because we are more alike than we are different. Despite all the labels/ pressures we place on each other and ourselves -socioeconomic, education, ethnicity, religion, politics…seriously folks…the list is long!.. When we start to let go of these unnecessary attachments (small steps, mind you) and stop giving them meaning, letting go of comparing ourselves to these labels, (one breath/ one day at a time) do we see that is the ego bully talking.
Say NO to it!
The pathway to self discovery, AKA: our true “effing” amazing self, is taking small steps AWAY from Ego and TOWARD enlightenment. The work is exhausting but not nearly as exhausting as continuing to live with the ego running the show.
The force is within you.
🕉👊🏼 Boom!!
#yoga #enlightenment #notoego #travellight ✌🏼️
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